Self-compassion is extending compassion to one’s self in instances of perceived inadequacy, failure, or general suffering. Also, self-compassion is composed of three main elements – self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness.
Self-kindness: Self-compassion entails being warm towards oneself when encountering pain and
personal shortcomings, rather than ignoring them or hurting oneself with self-criticism.
Common humanity: Self-compassion also involves recognizing that suffering and personal
failure is part of the shared human experience rather than isolating.
Mindfulness: Self-compassion requires taking a balanced approach to one’s negative emotions so
that feelings are neither suppressed nor exaggerated. Negative thoughts and emotions are
observed with openness, so that they are held in mindful awareness. Mindfulness is a non-
judgmental, receptive mind state in which individuals observe their thoughts and feelings as they
are, without trying to suppress or deny them.
Self-compassion in some ways resembles Carl Rogers‘ notion of “unconditional positive regard“
applied both towards clients and oneself; Albert Ellis‘ “unconditional self-acceptance”;
Maryhelen Snyder’s notion of an “internal empathizer” that explored one’s own experience with
“curiosity and compassion”; Ann Weiser Cornell‘s notion of a gentle, allowing relationship with
all parts of one’s being; and Judith Jordan‘s concept of self-empathy, which implies acceptance,
care and empathy towards the self. Self-compassion is different from self-pity, a state of mind or
emotional response of a person believing to be a victim and lacking the confidence and
competence to cope with an adverse situation.
Research indicates that self-compassionate individuals experience greater psychological health than those who lack self-compassion. For example, self-compassion is positively associated with life satisfaction, wisdom, happiness, optimism, curiosity, learning goals, social connectedness, personal responsibility, and emotional resilience. At the same time, it is associated with a lower tendency for self-criticism, depression, anxiety, rumination, thought suppression, perfectionism, and disordered eating attitudes.
Self-compassion has different effects than self-esteem, a subjective emotional evaluation of the self. Although psychologists extolled the benefits of self-esteem for many years, recent research has exposed costs associated with the pursuit of high self-esteem, including narcissism, distorted self-perceptions, contingent and/or unstable self-worth, as well as anger and violence toward those who threaten the ego.
As self-esteem is often associated with perceived self-worth in externalised domains such as appearance, academics and social approval, it is often unstable and susceptible to negative outcomes. In comparison, it appears that self-compassion offers the same mental health benefits as self-esteem, but with fewer of its drawbacks such as narcissism, ego-defensive anger, inaccurate self-perceptions, self-worth contingency, or social comparison.
Self-compassion exercises generally consist of either a writing exercise, role-playing, or introspective contemplation, and are designed to foster self-kindness, mindfulness, and feelings of common humanity. Self-compassion exercises have been shown to be effective in increasing self-compassion, along with increases in self-efficacy, optimism, and mindfulness.
These exercises have also been shown to decrease rumination. In individuals who were vulnerable to depression, one week of daily self-compassion exercises lead to reduced depression up to three months following the exercise, and increased happiness up to six months following the exercise, regardless of the pre-exercise levels of happiness.
Self-forgiveness is an element of self-compassion that involves releasing self-directed negative feelings. Research has found that self-forgiveness promotes greater overall well-being, specifically higher self-esteem and lower neuroticism. When self-directed negative feelings are a result of negative past action, self-forgiveness does not mean ignoring or excusing offenses, but rather practicing self-compassion while taking full responsibility for past action. In this way, self-forgiveness may increase people’s willingness to repent for wrongdoing.
